Why do I roll over????

I have turned my back on my calming thoughts and went strait to the depressed thoughts. I am having a few days of struggles. I am trying to find my place again. Everyone around me has their place and has their function, however in my families time of need I have no place so I wander...... and wander some more. Holidays are coming and I have no idea how to celebrate this year. The finances aren't offering a 'happy' holidays, my attempts at making a little side money aren't offering a 'happy' holidays. I can't even get my hair to be nice to me. It seems like I need to not give up and it seems like all I do anymore is give up.

I'm painting a few figurines and sewing a few diapers (maybe). I'm baking a few treats (which I eat mostly), and offer a few smiles. I don't seem to follow through with anything, and I don't seems to finsih anything. I want my desires to come true however when it comes down to it I give up on those desires before they are ever able to blossom.

This picture is my reason for rolling over in the morning.......
I admit I don't get up some days. I admit that a smile is the nicest thing I do some days. I will even admit that I do nothing at all some days, but here's another reason I roll over in the morning......

I don't know what I would do without them. Have a quiet life, have less joy, have less pain, but I would never have enough love with these four. They are the reason to roll over in the morning... maybe not get up but at least I roll over.